What to Do When You Want to be the “Fun” One
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“I want to be the fun one.”
The words I spoke to my hubby were carried more by a sigh than vocalized breath. My amazing guy was about to take our small children on an outing. I wanted them to go, but for some reason this time, I felt an unexplainable ache.
I don’t know what your current situation is but I’ve learned that leaving the fun up to somebody else isn’t restricted to motherhood.
There are plenty of circumstances that can cause the “should do” and “have to do” to choke out the “could do”!
What does your season look like right now?
Does it involve caring for an elderly parent, working overtime to get out of debt, or are you experiencing the ongoing trials of a health issue?
If these, or any other challenges have caused your fun to land in a forgotten file than perhaps the two principles below will help you as much as they have helped me.
#1 To Thine Own Self Be True
You and I might not actually be “fun people”! There are a gazillion personality inventories that can help us learn more about ourselves (My most recent interest is the one used in The Road Back to You by Cron and Stabile).
The bottom line is that we each have our own unique gifts and personalities. I’ve learned that my desire to be “fun” honestly has more to do with wanting to be appreciated than needing to have fun.
Self-discovery regarding the unique way God has made us, as well as the way He’s made those we love, is crucial to contentment.
When I came to terms with the fact that my guy is part “Otter” I was free to be okay with who I am. I was also able to recognize that someone I love not only likes to have fun but needs to have fun.
Check out one or more of the personality inventories below. As you do, ask God to help you grow in acceptance and understanding of how you are wired. You may find out that the “burden” of being the fun one was never yours to bear!
Gary Smalley and John Trent Inventory from their book Making Love Last Forever
The enneagram inventory from the Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery
The four spirit-controlled temperments by Tim LaHaye
#2 Boundaries Are a Beautiful Thing
If all the previous talk about self-discovery made you want to roll your eyes…wonderful! You’re the woman who knows herself and doesn’t need an inventory to clarify it or quantify it.
You know it’s time for a little fun which means you also know that something else is amiss.
The most likely villain is boundaries…or more accurately a lack of them.
I have a need for creativity. For me, creativity is fun.
Looking back, I remember dry seasons in which it seemed the insanity of life robbed me of any creative opportunity. There were times it couldn’t be helped but there were also times that I needed to employ boundaries.
Does there need to be less of something in your life so you can make room for fun?
Fewer hours worked over the weekend so you can surprise your spouse with a date night?
One less night volunteering so you can call your girlfriend and grab a latte?
Less laundry on Sunday afternoon so you can call the folks and see if they’re interested in an afternoon drive?
Fun can be found in simple activities but it may require relinquishing something else.
I’ll close with a “profound” quote that a friend of mine shared years ago,
“If everyone were a clown than life would be a circus.”
I agree, but at the end of the day…
What’s life without a circus or two?😄
Sharing the journey with you,
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