How to Handle the Hard-Heads in Your Life |
christian speaker, writer, christian blog, south dakota blog, speaker, sojourner, Cindy Krall
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My text messages started pinging.

Someone’s son didn’t come home last night. Prayers were needed.

A person’s mind can race with that kind of news. Fortunately, the young man came home (many hours later) but Mom, Dad, and extended family had been put through the ringer.

The start?

I suppose that technically the start was years prior, but the straw that broke the camel’s back was a less than “quiet conversation” regarding a recent poor choice that the young man had made.

Have you ever had your own version of a “less than quiet conversation” with someone?

I have.

I wish I could tell you that it wasn’t so.

If we’re honest, most of us could say we’ve lost our cool at least once.

Spat with the spouse? Check.✔

Patience out the door with the kids? Check.✔

Nerves snapped with a co-worker? Check.✔


I’m about to risk sounding pretentious at best (self-righteous at worst) but sometimes people are truly difficult to deal with!

I know, you know, we ALL know that none of us is immune to being “the difficult one”. I don’t doubt that I’m a burr in someone else’s side. But mercy, there are times it seems that the people we do life with—

Just. Don’t. Get. It.

There are a couple of ways we can deal with that.

My daughter uses humor. A friend gave her this plaque:

  • Some people need a high five.

  • In the head.

  • With a board.

Can you tell our family loves sarcasm! Humor can help but at the end of the day, we’re still stuck with our favorite hardhead.

Since we know losing our cool doesn’t work what’s next?

There’s a hidden answer in this scripture from Isaiah.

”“Whoever thought otherwise and wandered off will know the truth, and whoever said otherwise and voiced criticism will quietly learn.” Isaiah 30:24

I want that.

I want that for me and I want that for the hardheads in my life.

I don’t want the crisis. I don’t want confrontation. I don’t want people to get hurt.

I want us all to “quietly learn.”

As I read this scripture I whispered,

“What a wonderful prayer God. Help (fill in the blank ) to quietly learn.”

The Holy Spirit liked that prayer but since He also likes me He opted to make sure I didn’t feel left out so He whispered,

“Then sweetheart…I need you to quietly teach.”

My eyes lifted off the page and I let that sink in as a smile spread across my face.

Of course, how can I expect the difficult people in my life to quietly learn if I refuse to quietly teach?

The most influential people in my life were never the ones that barked, pushed or forced their opinions on me.

On the contrary, they were the quiet ones.

  • The Grandmother that left for work at 5 am but awoke early enough to cook bacon and leave it on the counter. Not a word was uttered but she showed me what commitment looked like.

  • The Mom that listened to church on the radio when going to church wasn’t an option. Not a word was uttered but I knew that faith was something to be valued.

  • The friend that took my children shopping for school supplies when a family death made it impossible. Not a word was uttered but I experienced compassion first hand.


If you and I want to reach the hardheads in our lives, if we want to avert the crisis or the consequence, if we want them to quietly learn, than our prayer must be this,

“Lord teach me to quietly teach.”


Savoring the journey with you,


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